So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
