billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
