I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
