im holly from the hills drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
