You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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