Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
