I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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