I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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