I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
