no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
