remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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