um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
