Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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