just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
