Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Holy shit dude........stairs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
