I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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