i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
