Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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