The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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