Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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