Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
