2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
