And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
