that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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