I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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