I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
