You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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