i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
