I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
