cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
