have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
