Bisexual people are plain selfish.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
