Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
