You work out of a Hotel?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
