She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
