So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
