im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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