this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
