question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
