This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
