im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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