Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
