First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
im on a boat
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