she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
