dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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