Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
