OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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