yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
