Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
