i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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