I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
