Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
