dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
