So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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